Soulmate

Do you have one?
What caused me to talk about this? I had a very nice and deep conversation with a friend of mine the other night. It opened my eyes on many things.
Can you have more than one soulmate in your life? Is it possible not to have one at all? I'd say yes to both!
How do you define a soulmate? Could it just be whoever you are in a relationship with? Or can it be a good friend too?
What about you? Do you have a soulmate? Ever had one? Who is yours?
Could it be possible you had one and didn't even realize it because you were too busy figuring out live for yourself? Well, at least that's how I feel. I truly believe my last boyfriend was my soulmate...

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

I have a new domain for my blog

I would like to thank David O'Donnell a fellow Plurker for being so kind and providing me with a domain and helping me getting this blog set up. You rock Dave!! :D

Don't!

Don't undermine your worth by comparing
yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people
deem important.

Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them
life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers
by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time,
you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope;
to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget
not only where you've been, but also where you're going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored
each step of the way.

My Wish...

This is my wish for you:

Comfort on difficult days,
smiles when sadness intrudes,
rainbows to follow the clouds,
laughter to kiss your lips,
sunsets to warm your heart,
hugs when spirits sag,
beauty for your eyes to see,
friendships to brighten your being,
faith so that you can believe,
confidence for when you doubt,
courage to know yourself,
patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.

Home Is Where Your Heart Is...

...is it really?

More and more I have the urge to be with my family..take care of them...give back to them for everything they have done for me in all those years ever since I moved to the US. My mom and dad have been the only ones who stood by my side for all those years...
My worst fear: what will I do once they are not able to take care of themselves? I hate to see them living in a home...I understand some things are beyond your control. Still..I do worry. I worry about everything and everybody...more than I worry about myself.

I will always be German, legally and most importantly in my heart. I have tried to go back once after my divorce. I failed miserably. I was not used to the fast paced daily lifestyle of Germans anymore. Always go-go go...hardly a smile on their faces. I was used to the laid back and relaxed lifestyle I had experienced.

If it wasn't for the fear of not being able to adjust to the German lifestyle again, I'd be back in a heartbeat.

I am sure for some it is hard to understand what my problem is. Last year I was talking to a friend of mine who is also German. She just had moved back to Germany after living in the States for 12 years. Her reason to move back was her husband's job. She said to me: 'You always feel like, you're in the middle. You don't really belong anywhere.'

I always felt like I have no home only passing through...I am restless...always looking... All I know is, I need to find my inner peace and where that might be, shall be seen.

The Path Of Least Resistance...

The path of least resistance is taken by those who resist the least and still end up in the belly of the beast.

The road less taken is taken by those who never hide from their fear and pick their own star by which to steer.
It is the quest that makes us stronger even if it makes the journey longer.

The trip is always worth it...

Thank you J for this lovely quote!

I'd say...I am definitely taking the road less taken! But I have no regrets...I just learn from it!!

Dawn Of A New Day

Wow...I would have never imagined finally starting this blog ...

Today is the day when I realized I can no longer survive in the relationship I am in. I am suffocating...slowly. So much mental abuse...Well I am an easy target - so vulnerable and such a sucker...

I am a very patient person, very forgiving...too forgiving for my own good sometimes. Always trying to find something good in the worst situation imaginable.

A little background for those who don't really know me:

I was born and raised in Germany up until I was 24 years old. That's when I moved to the United States...land of the impossible dreams...so I was told back then. I had met my then husband in Germany. He was stationed in my hometown serving in the Army. Everything was beautiful...just what I had always wished for. (When I was younger I would always say to myself: 'When I grow up, I will either live in Sweden or the USA')

I don't think it took a month after giving up my life in Germany and moving to Connecticut before I realized the true person behind that mask my husband put on. He was an Alcoholic and Drug user. Very abusive..mentally and physically. I have the scars to prove it.

It took me three years to finally make that big step and move out. I moved out in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. He wasn't home as usual. It took him a week to realize I was gone for good.

I took it easy for a year and a half when I met my last boyfriend. Looking back he was the right one for me..if I had only known that 4 years ago. We were together 6 years. I think the thing that made us drift apart were his kids and me being totally unexperienced with kids. I do not have children of my own. But I love them to death. I learned so much during those 6 years. I think back often..with a heavy heart. I moved out 3 days before Christmas...

A year went by before I met my now boyfriend. He is Canadian and that's why I ended up in the True White North! I love this country it's beautiful! I hate to leave it...5 more days until Christmas...is this a sign??

To be continued...